Summer

Summer has always held a magic quality. It is so fleeting and goes by so quickly. Ever since we were children and counted the days until our freedom arrived and we could bask in the warmth of the sun, it held a certain quality of expectation.

I have to say, for me, I'm not feeling it this summer.

I know, I know, ... you say "but you live in the land of perpetual summer of course you don't feel the change". This is true somewhat. It is mostly always sunny and 80 where I live, but summer was always so much more than the weather.

This year my second graduated from high school and is getting ready in a few short weeks to go off to school. My oldest while still maintaining a room here hardly ever inhabits it. My youngest is going into 7th grade (G*d, I am old! When did that happen?) and she is the only one left to count the days until summer with me. The house has become so much quieter. It happens when five become three. I have had to relearn how to cook. No more meals for an army of children. No more loud and raucous dinners. The grocery bill is much smaller, which I have to admit is nice.

I knew this change was coming. I didn't really think it would be a big deal. It is, though.

I didn't realize it would make me think differently about things that I have always taken for granted, like summer. I thought summer would always mean the same thing. It is a bit tough here in South Florida, no winter, no fall to speak of, that leaves us spring and summer. Summer is still supposed to be lazy days of no school and playing outside till late because it doesn't get dark until 9pm. Summer is still supposed to be that sense of freedom and the sun on your face.

Summer is supposed to be carefree and joyous.

I don't feel joyous this summer. I feel old and cranky and I here myself say things like " I don't want to go...it's too hot out.." I don't like this summer. I want the summer from last year. Can I have that one back please.

Ah, I am waxing a bit too melancholy aren't I. It must be the heat. It's gone to my head. It is hot as Africa outside these days.......